MOVIE: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
RATING: 7 (of 10)

“Disappointing!”
Oh George Lucas… why must you ruin beloved movies with “modern” drek and nonsense.

You know, it might have been the writer or Spielberg, but I place the blame firmly on Lucas because he did the exact same thing with Star Wars – and thus had to prove himself otherwise.

Is Indy 4 a good movie? – YES
Does Indy 4 carry on the franchise? – BARELY

There are JUST enough elements in Indy 4 to make it feel like a real Indiana Jones adventure. Harrison Ford is a joy to watch as he embodies the charm, quirky smile, and confidence of Dr. Jones no matter what his age. And Shia as “Mutt” does a great job as a young upstart kid.

As far as “Action” movies go.. this is a good one. Some fun chase scenes (ie. the motorcycle on campus), a bit of spelunking and fighting, some good old-fashioned stunts. But as far as being an “Indiana Jones” movie… I can only say “Disappointing!”

Here’s just a few things that make this Indy the bottom of the Jones barrel:

  1. Believability - C’mon. Indiana Jones is older.. so how can he take so many punches, falls, etc. without seeming to feel any of it. At least in the earlier movies, he was sore after some of those tough chases… now he’s just another invincible action hero superstar. Yuck.
  2. Cute Lucas Creatures - From ewoks to Jar Jar Binks to now having tiny monkeys in trees with big eyes. I groaned aloud in the theater when Mutt gets stuck in a tree, only to be rescued by such pleasant creatures. And swinging from tree-to-tree with them – ugh!
  3. WHAT?!? No Booby Traps - Have you forgotten what makes an Indiana Jones movie so cool? The booby traps, man! Indiana’s big skill was somehow surviving where others had always been caught. I kept waiting for traps during this whole movie, and there were none. DUH!
  4. No Scary Villains - Yeah, we have those Nazi guys again.. but for some reason, they never scared me one bit. And the leader, Cate Blanchett, I never believed for a second she would hurt Indiana. Without a real menace… you can’t have legitimate suspense. Too bad.
  5. Poor Script - What was that big ol’ box at the beginning of the movie? Why did the skull need to be returned? Why was everybody double-crossing Indy? How could the skull be so easy to find in the first place? (see #3) And everybody talks a lot and “figures it out” too quickly!

So unfortunately, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was not at all what fans have been hoping for. Sure, its decent enough and you’ll probably want to see it… but if you’re hoping for a return to the glory of Raiders or even Last Crusade, not going to happen.